ALIEN VS. PREDATOR (PG-13) *
Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson. 85 minutes.
Starring Sanaa Lathan, Lance Henriksen, Raoul Bova, and Ewan Bremmer. Released by 20th Century Fox.
“This is starting to make sense,” says Raoul Bova’s character, a language specialist, to Sanaa Lathan’s character, a mountain climber, as they make their way through the Antarctic temple in which they are trapped, surrounded by violent aliens of two different species. Good. I’m glad the storyline of Alien Vs. Predator, the fifth and third films, respectively, in the various series, both of which are steadily going downhill, makes sense to someone. Between the seven films, three are good, two are mediocre, and two are bad, this one included. The plot, however, is about as nonsensical as big budget horror/science fiction films get. Paul W.S. Anderson, the reigning master of violent outer space action films, has focused on the action in Alien Vs. Predator and, perhaps, given five minutes thought to the story. As it stands, the film makes even less sense than the last Matrix film.
The basic outline of the movie is a group of scientists, language specialists, etc., discover an ancient pyramid beneath the layers of Antarctic ice. Jumping ahead, the reason for the existence of the temple makes a nice companion piece to Dracula’s actual identity in Dracula 2000, for anyone unfortunate enough to have seen that film. I’m getting ahead of myself. As they scour the monument, they realize that they are not alone. They are surrounded by not one, but two, hostile alien races who are in the midst of a war, which, I might add, they are kind enough to wage in the middle of a barren, icy continent, so that they do not disrupt humankind.
Ritualistically, the human characters are picked off by the two types of aliens, though, since the film is so unbelievably murky and dark, we are not quite sure who is getting killed at what point. It should also be noted that the group of scientists and specialists hold up rather well against the two alien species, while a group of trained commandos were easily picked off by just one of those species in the original Predator. During the killings, the filmmakers have injected a certain amount of sadism, though the bloodletting is toned down to get the PG-13 rating for the kiddies. For example, two fathers discuss how they will get through the experience in order to see their kids again. Moments later, they are violently disposed of. Then, let us consider, how not one, not two, but, yes, three characters are seemingly killed, found alive, and then immediately killed again.
In the 1960s and 1970s, there were an abundance of vs. movies, most notably- joking- Godzilla Vs. Mothra, Gamera Vs. Barugon, and King Kong Vs. Godzilla. These films were absurd, idiotic, and just plain bad. At the same time, it is difficult to not have a certain amount of affection for them because of their goofiness. Believe me, a little bad dubbing and special effects consisting of plastic towns and men in large rubber suits can go a longer way than you might expect, entertainment-wise. Last summer, there was Freddy Vs. Jason- bad, but campy. A little too intentionally campy, though. Now, there is Alien Vs. Predator, which is not only humor-less, but lacking any real entertainment value. The special effects are hidden in the dark and murky sets and the cinematography moves too fast during action sequences, in order to compensate for the lack of gore, once again in order to not get an “R” rating.
Paul W.S. Anderson has made more than a handful of these types of movies. Event Horizon was a horror film set in space. Soldier was an action film set on a hostile planet. Mortal Kombat, the best of the bunch, was a kung fu film with fantasy elements. Resident Evil, the worst of the bunch, was a nonsensical zombie-fest set in the future. Alien Vs. Predator is pretty much no more and no less than these other films. It is an uninspired series of action sequences and special effects. During the process of filming the movie, the real competition was no doubt Story Vs. Set Piece. We all know who one that bout.